Super duper excited for this weekend! Culture, new friends, and big honkin burgers. Sounds like a recipe for a good evening.

Andrew, Em, I can't wait!

Seems that subconsciously I have been feeling like a badass. This morning I had a dream that I met Hulk Hogan at a department store. He was selling shirts with MY name on them!

I thought it would be okay. I thought it wouldn't hurt me. I thought I could handle it. I thought all of my hard exercise and water-guzzling would protect me.

I thought wrong.

I had a HALF of a cinnamon streusel bagel with a tablespoon of reduced fat honey walnut cream cheese. Just half.

Now, my head is pounding, my hands are shaky, my knees are weak, and I am nauseous. DAMN YOU REFINED SUGAR!!!! I am not diabetic, insulin resistant, or hypoglycemic. I just don't have a lot of sugar in my diet. And now, as a result, I feel like I just smoked crack.

Seriously. Who gets a sugar hangover other than me?

Today I learned that just because you may possess a fair amount of cardiovascular fitness, that doesn't mean that a set of 2.5 pound dumbells can't still kick your ass if used correctly.

Ouch. My triceps and shoulders are noodle-y. I exercised them to muscle failure with 2.5 pound dumbells.

And even more embarrasing, it didn't take very long at all! I have a LOT of work to do.

Contrary to massively WRONG public belief, a process server doesn't have to touch you in order to serve you with papers. Just take the papers.

Do not lie to your mailcarrier to avoid a certified letter. Do not tell them that you died/moved/never lived there. Just take the papers.

If you are being sued, you will be sued anyway. The only difference is, instead of knowing what will happen, the information will be posted on the wall down at the post office or courthouse, and you will have no clue that your wages, State Tax Refund, or your bank account are about to be garnished. It will be a big, fat, painful surprise.

How did people ever get it into their heads that a lawsuit will go away if they ignore the poor person assigned to deliver the papers? How will you know what is going on if you don't READ THE DAMN PAPERS!

If you do avoid service of papers, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES call your lawyer's office to ask what is going on. We have no idea, BECAUSE YOU REFUSED THE PAPERS!!

I am helping to get my cousin Melinda pregnant next week.

Long story.

Just wanted to let everyone who showed up last night know how much FUN I had! It was more like a caucus than a season premiere!

And thank you all for eating what we served. I was really worried that I was going to have to serve Rome black olives, cheese cubes, chip dip and Chex party mix for dinner one night this week.

And THANK YOU SO MUCH to Tess & Tim for bringing the tangy key-lime pie and munchy snacks, and Molly for her butterscotch blondies (they turned out to be "Eric" instead of "Sookie"), and Krista, thank you so much for the fruit-the strawberries taste like Michigan berries from mid-July and those cherries were almost too pretty to eat!

Jeff & Karen brought some of his homemade preserves, and I am dying to try his kiwi jam!

So, to Tess & Tim, Jeff & Karen, Blair, Krista, Molly, David and Lisa, thank you so very much. You all made my weekend. And you all are so very welcome in our home.

I am now in the process of learning about Muslim food standards, or Halal, as defined by Shari'a, Muslim Law.

It is more complicated than just avoiding pork. The meat has to be from a recognized Halal purveyor. No pork. No pork derivatives. This includes gelatin. This also includes any seasonings that contain even trace amounts of MSG, due to the fact that they are processed with an enzyme that is a porcine derivative.

This also means no alcohol. At all. In any fashion whatsoever. This sounds simple enough, but it is also complicated in that there are many flavorings and extracts that contain alcohol. Vanilla is the biggest one. Also many vinegars. And baking/candy extracts such as almond, orange, mint, etc. are all alcohol based. And don't even get me started on the number of pan sauces and stews that contain wine/alcohol as a flavor base.

All this so that I can make some food for a wonderful little muslim boy that Rome works with. I respect his religion, and he is worth the trouble. And heck, I love learning more about food and culture. But man, no Jell-o? That is cruel and unusual to me.

Never underestimate the effect your pet's medical emergencies will have on you.

My dog had seizures and convulsions today. We had to take her to the emergency animal hospital. We were worried and scared more than I thought was possible. She is okay now, just tired. Blood work is at the lab and we won't get the results, if any, for a few days. We just have to keep an eye out for additional seizures. If she seizes again, she gets treated for epilepsy. If not, well then, YEAH! But then we won't know what happened to cause her condition today.

I can't imagine what this would feel like with a child.

Within one hour today, a legal assistant on the other side of the building lost her 43-year-old husband to congestive heart failure, and an attorney in the same office delivered a baby boy.

Talk about your "Circle of Life."

Now I know why tulle is pronounced "tool".

It is because you feel like a complete and utter TOOL for thinking you can cut it straight without a rotary cutter and cutting mat.

That is all.

Sign #1 that I am “Too Old”:

Last night Gogol Bordello performed in Royal Oak. I knew about it. I wanted to go see them. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Eugene Hutz.

I didn’t go. I didn’t have anywhere else I needed to be, no emergencies. What I DID have, was that I had to make dinner, let out my dog, work on a sewing project, and I had to work the next morning (today), and I didn’t have the cash in my pocket for a ticket, I would have had to finance it on a credit card or debit card or pull it out of my savings account. And I was tired. Yes folks, tired.

So, hear me now, it is official. I am too old.

I am not jewish, but I do see the beauty in many Hebrew teachings. I love reading Rabbi Shmuley Boteach's blog.

From www.shmuley.com :

Rabbi Shmuley’s Blog - 22nd May 2009
It’s becoming increasingly apparent to me that more and more people these days are unhappy because they feel ordinary. Immersed in a culture that highlights superlatives, we compare ourselves to all the people we read about who are richer, more famous, and lead more glamorous lives than us and we feel diminished.

Here’s the truth. Everyone, without exception is special in that they have a unique gift to contribute to the world that is not duplicated by anyone else. And identifying that special gift is probably the most important thing you’ll ever do in your life. Because only by knowing and contributing your gift will you reinforce the conviction that you are special. You are never ordinary. You won’t try and copy someone else’s gift. You’ll be uniquely you. You won’t get depressed in feeling that your life is meaningless and worthless. On the contrary, you’ll go through life confident that your presence on this earth enhances your surroundings and that without you your family, friends, and acquaintances will all be impoverished.

Few of us these days are as happy as we should be, and even the happiness we experience often comes from the wrong things like materialism and going to the movies. You are G-d’s original. There is none like you. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else. Live life authentically and sincerely and never, ever compromise your unique gift.



Lori's note: I am betting that a lot of families out there right now could use a hyperactive Rabbi in their faces trying to convince them that they have worth.

2 car garage? 4 bedrooms? Nice neighborhood? 1.5 baths? ORIGINAL BUILT-IN FIXTURES?

Why did we buy a house 4 years ago? This is the one we should have had. I think the square footage is off on that listing. It can't have a 20x11 living room and a 15x11 dining room AND a basement AND 4 bedrooms and be less than 900 sq. ft.

I love this house. Assuming a $5,980 down payment, 10 year mortgage at 6% interest would equal a house payment of $266 per month. Taxes and insurance on top, probably looking at about $550 per month TOTAL. For 10 years. Then you own it free and clear.

YAAAARGHHHHHH!

I think I need to email this one to my parents. It is close to my brother, Meijer, me, my work, has a flippin' jacuzzi, and they could probably pay cash for it.

http://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/110-Grove-Park-St_Mount-Clemens_MI_48043_1106146967


And here is a better picture for the same listing:

http://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/Mt-Clemens_MI_48043_1106155038

It is only a 2-bedroom, needs some work, but for the price, how cute is this house?

http://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/65-High-St_Mount-Clemens_MI_48043_1109450482

Judi & Eral (it is actually Earl, but everyone spells it that way) got hitched out in Ann Arbor yesterday. It was a beautiful, emotional, and fun event.

Judi did it just right for my tastes. Not over the top, but with just the right touches to let everyone know how much thought went into the whole affair.

It started with our "Made in Michigan" gift bag that we received upon check-in at our hotel. It contained Faygo sodas, Bettermade Chips and snacks, as well as a Zingeman's brownie for each of us, and then some nuts to snack on. It was a thoughtful and touching welcome. Even though Judi & Earl were busy as heck, it still felt like they were there welcoming us to their wedding.

At the wedding itself, the ceremony was short, sweet, and HIGHLY EMOTIONAL. I have never seen a wedding officiant tear-up during a ceremony. Powerful stuff.

And then, the reception was filled with good music, tons of dancing, lots of laughs, and friends new and old. The wedding and reception were held at Cobblestone Farms. Aside from all of the stairs (which were only a minor inconvenience) it was a beautiful place for the events. Wooden floors, wooden support beams, lots of open & airy space.

HOLY CRAP was the food excellent! It was the best wedding dinner I have ever had, and I have had a LOT of wedding food. I have never had shish-kabob as a wedding entree before, and I will never forget this wedding dinner entree as long as I live. The vegetarian ones looked sublime, and the chicken kabobs were nicely marinated and cooked perfectly. The salads had a definite flair with ingredients that made them stand out from your average iceberg, red cabbage, shredded carrot salads. Pine nuts! One of my favorites!

The cake was killer. The tastiest wedding cake I have ever put in my mouth. Seriously, vanilla cake with creme brule filling and whipped cream-like frosting. And a decadent dark chocolate truffle cake that made me regret eating so much dinner and not saving room for massive slabs of cake.

Nobody drank like it was their job, even though beer, wine, and malt-type flavored beverages were served. Everyone spent too much time dancing to drink. Rome wowed the onlookers with his dance to "Ice-Ice Baby" as well as his zombie dance to "Thriller". We apparently impressed some folks with our dancing to both the swing songs as well as the Indian Bhangara music like they have in Bollywood movies(SO MUCH FUN TO DANCE TO!). Also, it was nice to just sit on a bench in the warm Ann Arbor evening air and talk to friends and strangers. I learned more about German culture and ettiquite than I could have imagined.

And, all of the fun, good emotions, and frivolity took a backseat to the main event; Judi and Earl decided to stand in front of a group of people that mean the world to them, and they publically expressed their vows and intent to spend the rest of their lives living for one another, teaming up against adversity, and standing together to face whatever the world throws at them in the future. Good for them. I think the world will be a better place with them in it together as a married couple.

Now, off to practice some more Bhangara dancing with my Indi-Hop DVD....

You know those orange-flavored chocolates that are shaped like an orange, you whack them on the table, unwrap, and they fall into individual wedges that look like orange slices?

Well, I made a batch of ice cream tonight that has that exact flavor. Orange-flavored chocolate ice cream. Nummy!

It is so good, I had to put it into 4 ounce individual cups to keep us from scooping and eating large quantities in one sitting.

Memorial Day is almost here. Gentlemen, start your ice cream churns!

Yesterday's breakfast was 3/4 pound of sliced fresh strawberries.

Today's breakfast was 3/4 pound of hulled cherries with 1/2 cup of steamed soybeans to get some protein (cause I about chewed off my own arm by lunch yesterday due to hunger).

And now I have the hankering for some fresh peaches. Or maybe pineapple.

WTF? Is it the weather? Anyone else feeling summery and craving all sorts of out-of-season fruit?

So, at a lovely lunch with Rome yesterday, we decided on our menu for the week. And guess what? We are having some vegetarian dinners! I am so excited! I don't want to be a vegetarian (I really like meat), but I love the health aspect of treating it more like a treat than a necessity. Plus, it gives me more opportunity to whip up some quinoa. And lentils. And barley. And cous cous (the Israeli kind, not the little bitty granules).

I am looking for a honest to goodness Yoga studio in our county. I am coming up short. Looks like Royal Oak is the closest one. I could just take a yoga class at a gym, continue with my DVDs or go through community ed., but I want the experience of the barefoot, heated-studio, with someone who has devoted their energy to its' study. I would like to try a few sessions that are not just disguised aerobics classes, but have more to do with the art and discipline of yoga.

A few personal experiences lately have reminded me that I am getting old(er). I can continue on an emotionally, mentally, and physically destructive path. Conversely, I can choose to be better. I can eat better. I can exercise more. I can try to think positively (will be tough for me). If I live up to my potential, I will be around longer. And I will be a better friend, partner, daughter, mother, confidant and lover.

Besides, who wouldn't want to live a longer life with Rome by their side?